B1 - porn /phone sex chat lines / he's not happy B2 - second round phone sex chat lines/he's looking for someone else/counselor indicates concern of sexual addiction on H however unsure of diagnosis - H said that I was unhappy, overweight, and controlling. we go into MAJOR marriage counseling - I own up to my part / lose 105 pounds / take good steps towards collaborating on decision making regarding kids, expenditures - he leaves for week - wants to come home - kids see big differences - all good UNTIL B3 - phone sex has now become physical hookups for $40 or so (can you say prostitution) / he discloses that MC who became his IC forwards his case onto psychotherapist - now convinced full addiction. Psychotherapist says H's "lifelong pervasive unhappiness" to blame. H sees "lifelong" to mean "life with me" - MC (his former IC) appalled - believes psychotherapist has been snowed by H. H and I decide to move forward - doing good, tough work - on both individual recovery and marital recovery. Sends me the most beautiful, heartfelt messages, cards = everything I've always wanted to hear from this normally closed person. He changes 2 weeks later - ILYBINILWY - and he's back on the chat lines - we separate. Ugly, right?
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
