Well Allen A....Not sure if your on to something but it sure sounds like it. Today my husband and I appeared in court for what we "thought" was going to be a "mediation" conference. Turns out it was actually a "trial setting" conference to proceed with our D!
Prior to entering the courtroom we sat with each other, talked, and laughed for about 20 min's or so. Things seemed to go fairly well considering we were minutes away from entering a courtroom regarding our divorce...??? Quite interesting to say the least.
Anyhow, upon entering the courtroom and realizing that we were not going to see a mediator I think we were both slightly panicked...When asked to approach the bench, the judge determined our trial date and THEN...my husband proceeded to tell the judge that he/we were confused. My husband went on to explain to the judge that he was under the impression that today's meeting would be with a mediator in hopes of settling outside of court. The judge proceeded to tell him that we would not be meeting with a mediator today and that a trial date is now set for August 12th. The judge also asked my husband why is he now wavering in his decision to move forward as this case has cost the courts time and money?? My responded simply responded and said that he was just confused and obviously misinformed and had no choice to accept our trial date.
Long story short....After my husband and I walked outside the courthouse we were both confused and disappointed that we did not get to see a mediator and I think nervous about our upcoming trial date. To be honest, I was hoping to see a mediator to see if it would be possible to work on our marriage through couples counseling before D proceedings but I now realized that was NOT going to happen here.
Since he'd mentioned that he hadn't eaten breakfast I asked if he'd like to grab a bite to eat and said yes right away and suggested a local restaraunt. During our lunch we talked more and did a lot of catching up with each other's families, our lives, etc...After lunch he took me for a ride in his new truck that he is very proud of I might add
I think we "ended" today on a good note and am optimistic at this point but scared to get hurt because I've tried so many times to get our marriage back on track during our separation only for him to take me on a painful roller coaster ride. Which given our history I can't say I blame him.
Anyhow, when we returned from taking a spin in his new truck he walked me to my car and held out his arms to welcome a hug from me. As I went to hug him I asked, "So you are still going to divorce me, huhh ??" He didn't respond he just laughed a little. So after we hugged I asked him again (while smiling) if he was still going to divorce me.
He then responded and said, "WE'LL TALK." At that time I didn't ask again. I got in my car and said thanks again for the lunch.
To say the least this was not a typical behavior for a soon to be "D" couple. Driving home I couldn't help but scratch my head while trying to make something of it. I'm still not quite sure of what to think of it.
Any thoughts or suggestions out there from my fellow DB family? What can I do to further impact him questioning if the D is really what he wants? Also, is it possible he was just being nice and caring and that's why we went to lunch? BTW we haven't spoken much in the past 2 months. Only one time so I'm curious to see if other folks out there have experienced this type of behaviour during the D proceedings and how they handled it?
