Need a Plan for My Marriage

[LSG]

Journaling 6/25/2010:

Well today was kind of up and down. I thought about WAW alot today even though I did not want to. I went to a mandatory Parent and Childeren's Traing (PACT), and it was interesting and at times light-hearted. I learned some new things to be an even better father. It evoked some emotions about my W that I try not to feel anymore, but I guess they are still there.

I took kids to the park and I found a five leaf clover, and I hope it is lucky because I could use some right now.

W leaves no money for kids, so I had to use a credit card I have that she is paying to buy things for the kids. It is real rough. There is hardly any gas in the car now. I just need a job so bad. I try everyday to find one and be able to care for the kiddies. It is trying for me.

Took the kids for star watching, but it was kind of a failure. S and D are too young to enjoy, and I could not get the telescope to cooperate. D said she appreciates me taking them.

I overheard W telling the kids that she was going to take them to San Diego for something for the day. I hope it is only for the day. I have lost my trust in her. I will be glad to have next week over.

It is becoming very difficult on me. I never have enough sleep.

I have no one here for me to really help except a very nice neighbor man that helps me. If it was not for him, I do not know what I would do.