1)You don't really know what's going on with him or what he wants to do. You can't go dark yet. IMO, going dark is when they've made it clear that they intend to carry on the A and don't care about the M. You're not there yet.
2)You've been away over a week now. That's long enough for "shaking him up" and it seems that it worked somewhat. Any longer and he could decide that YOU don't want the M since you haven't told him otherwise. He could harden his position that things won't work and make DB much more difficult.
Also, you need to consider your position in the event of a D sometime down the road. He can start to make a case that you've abandoned him at some point and your right to the martial home becomes weaker.
3)I would go home soon. Work on your 180's and GAL. Instead of him getting to go out when the baby is asleep, you find some things to do and make daddy stay home. I always recommend getting Dr Phil's Relationship Rescue. It really helps communication issues and focusing on yourself.
If you find out the A is not over, we'll help with the "going dark" part. But, I would do it from your own home. It's a stronger position.
You will find that you have more strength than you have ever known. Keep reading and posting here. We may have different ways of getting there but we all want you to have a happy ending.
