Still chipping away at EA

[elvencat]

CONSISTENCY, even to the point of "broken record." That's the key.

I hate being a broken record... so yeah, this is something that is very hard for me to do. But I see yours and Allen's points.

And yes EC, we know you are telling him how you FEEL, but how you FEEL is not going to STOP HIM

CONSEQUENCES stop him... DISCOURAGE NEGATIVE BEHAVIOUR will make him think TWICE

.......

THAT will stop him... and unfortunately you feeling bad right now isn't something that's gonig to stop him.. He's got a wall up and can't empathize or sympathize with YOU... with HIM he can.. so it has to be a consequence for HIM...

I think after posts of you trying to get this through to me... I finally 'get' it... working on implementing it is going to be the hard thing. Yes living with my H means I fall back into the routine of "living" with my H.. and I can't let that happen when he is still doing things to destroy our family.

I think the hardest thing for me is not interacting with H 'like nothing is going on' when DD is with both of us. I try to keep a 'happy' vibe going because the few times I've instigated the "your destroying the family be your actions" type statements with DD around, it's always turned into a nasty argument and I hate feeling guilty I'm creating that environment. I know I'm not the one causing it, but I'm having a hard time not feeling that way.