I think exposure backfired?

[AntoniaB]

No I don't want a divorce, but it seems like if I have lots of contact with him, he uses it mostly to hurt me and keep reiterating that he isn't going to try with me because he's so enamored with her. It seems like the more I try to talk to him like we still have something there, the more he pulls away, almost like he's trying to prove a point to me. I thought the idea of detachment meant that I was to lessen my contact with him and become very independent and happy and involved with other things and let him see that. I'm not telling him to divorce me, not at all, I'm only talking about the property settlement issues with him because my lawyer said that this needs to be nailed down sooner rather than later because I want the house, and right now, he agrees with that, but a verbal agreement means nothing. My lawyer said that this agreement can just sit there and if he never files it can be rescinded or modified later, but it protects me financially now. But other than that, I haven't said I want him gone, I just want to tell him that I've stopped pushing him towards counseling because I realize that I can't control his behavior, only he can.

I guess the main reason I haven't seen him in 2 weeks is because I don't want him to see me as a wreck. I only want to see him once I feel I have my act together and don't have puffy eyes and look miserable. In the past day or so I think I look pretty normal, so I'd be ready to see him now, I think I could pull it off without getting weepy; a friend suggested I let him come by to fix something in the house that is broken and just be ready to go out when he gets here, all dressed up, and just say "ok see you later I'm going out with so and so..." Is that a bad idea/good idea??