I am going to get to the nitty gritty of a VERY common problem with LBS who live with their wayward spouse...
When you aer prompted with conversation or a question...
STOP, back up... CHANGE the direction and don't ENGAGE the path you are prompted with
a. If they ask a question - don't answer it, state your position on infidelity and EXIT... b. If they start to make small talk - state your position on infidelity and EXIT
Not angrilly... Do it with calmness but maturity, as if they have a disease and you do't want to be near it
So VERY OFTEN LBS' here get hit with small talk or questions from their spouse... I am teling you to NOT ENGAGE them.. STOP the statement immediately by stating your position and EXITNIG the ROOM
EACH TIME you TALK or engage in ANY conversation you are sending him a message that you are OK with infidelity...
It doesn't mean you are happy abou it, he knows that, but if you talk to him it means you will ACCEPT it and NOT react in any way that brings any negative consequences to him
He needs to get HIT with a CONSEQUENCE EACH TIME he betrays you like that...
If he prompts you for sign off for him to go to OW you get up state your position and go to teh phone, you call a friend and invite them over... you tell them on the phone with him in earshot what he's doing... You tell them how ashamed you are for your daugthe that her family history has to go through this and you need to do something to protect her from further harm... You invite your friend over to brainstorm for ideas.. AGain in earshot...
NOW when he looks at the door he's gonig to be wondering whos' coming over and what you two are gonig to be DOING while he's GONE...
You dont' phrase it vendictively or meanly.. Just that you have to protect your daughter from further harm and you want her to help you plan... that's it.
