Live in the Now!!

[BobbiJo]

Hmmm...not sure what I will do with it yet beyond share it with my counselor. It is not written with the intention for him to fall on his knees and beg forgiveness.

I just think sometimes, the fact that I have been so kind and forgiving toward him, has kept him from feeling/acknowledging just exactly what he has DONE. Someone on the infidelity forum posted something about how the walkaway wants to keep the minimum polite interactions just so they can tell themselves, "What I did/am doing couldn't be that bad. After all, my ex continues to interact with me and engage in conversation. So I must not have hurt them that badly..." something to that effect.

And it has gone on so long that just abruptly stopping all communications except the bare minimum on the kids might piss him off, which is fine by me, but I don't think he would get the point, the WHY of it. He needs to have it smacked upside his head in order to get it.

Anyway just back in from mowing and weeding. Nine oclock here, 88* with heat index of 103*. I am a big pile of sweat and grass clippings. Sexy, eh? But I leave Sunday for 3 days for my work conference and need to have the house in order before I leave. Which means laundry is next on the list.

Thanks everyone for the feedback. Really. It is so nice to be able to vent a long letter like that and have people actually take the time to read it and to validate my feelings.. Why can't I find friends like you in my real life? Oh yeah, cause I am in a small town where everyone knows everyone and if I shared my feelings it might wind up in the local paper. Really.

Speaking of the local paper, I read this week (we only get a paper once a week) that a woman shot herself and her dog at the picnic shelter of the lake/park where we went fishing, 12 hours after we were there. Eerie...