Still chipping away at EA

[elvencat]

Appreciate the explanation of the fine line between bringing up OW and bringing up Affair. I'll try to let that sink in really well.

Today I am one bundle of aggravated nerves and instead of texting my H something nasty, which is what I want to do with every fiber of my hurt emotional self, I am on here typing.

Yesterday H made a couple comments in passing about "if" we get divorced and this winter "we" should do this and "we" need to go to that movie when it comes out.. so on and so forth.. I wasn't sure how to respond without sounding like I was starting a fight, or that I was playing along, so I decided silence was the best response. He hasn't used the word "if" in months when relating it to divorce.

Fast forward to today.... H tells me "I'm going out tonight, if that's ok with you?" Now this statement really gets me because
1. I know he means OW house's
2. He's not really asking me if it's ok.

So I respond with, "Why are you asking me when you already know how I feel about it." I also asked why he'd think I'd have plans when I've been very frugal with gas and money because I haven't had a job offer yet. His response is that he just wanted to make sure I didn't already have plans because if I did he would ask MIL to watch DD.

So now I'm really aggravated with him. I calmly tell him that I do appreciate knowing he was going to be gone, however, I do NOT appreciate being asked if it's ok when the answer is very well known and when the answer doesn't make a difference to the person asking.

A little bit of silence after this and he comes back with.. "I may not go anyway. My feet are starting to swell up again...."

I'm not feeling physically well myself today and about mid-afternoon I decided I needed to lay down for a nap, leaving MIL, FIL, DD and H in the front room...

I had NO idea I had slept 2 hours until DD comes in and flips the light on and asks if I'm awake yet. (I love 3 yr olds. ) But then of course the next thing she says is "daddy's gone, he went to visit his friends...."

ARGH. So instead of firing off a stupid txt about how his feet miraculously healed, I'm on here... much better way to vent.

Also, I did manage to get a new way to get excellent intel on sitch with H and OW. I'm not saying much on here just in case H has found my thread and just hasn't said anything. But I'll be able to find out a lot more than I know now.