Still trying to find my way

[newmama]

I am going to write to H this weekend. But I won't send it. I'll hang onto the letter and if there comes a time I feel I need to send it to help me get some closure, then I will. But right now I'm too raw, too vulnerable to open myself up like that to him. Because I know all he'll do is say he's sorry and what is that going to do for me? I'll just want to tell him if he's sorry then he needs to show it, just saying it doesn't help. He needs to leave her and come back to me like he was going to do two months ago.

First, very smart to know you are too vulnerable right now and writing the letter but not sending it is a wise decision.

Second, yeah him saying "I'm sorry" but then doing nothing about it is just infuriating and gives you nothing back for your efforts.

I wonder, too, about whether the cheating spouses know the door is open for R. (I mean for those of us who want to). The downside to "not discussing the relationshop" and "not pleading, begging, pursuing" is that it makes it hard to bring up reconciliation. At the same time, there will come a time when the discussion is appropriate. Like if your H (or you) files for D, that might be a good time to discuss what is going on and what you want. right?????

get caught up on your sleep this weekend...I do that once per week as well. Sleep is amazing for PMA and perspective!