I don't think the WAS does see any changes during this time....at least not while the OW/OM is still in the picture. They have made a decision and need to continue to validate the decision that they made and the actions that they have taken.
Or at least they won't admit to it.
Perhaps when the other relationship ends..they can look back and see them.
I remember during my H affair..he explained some things he wasn't happy with. I changed the ones that I could...and at least tried to change the ones that I couldn't control...it just seemed like the list kept changing.
During our separation..and while deciding on the D- he said that he did notice the changes but it was too late. I think a lot of people go into panic mode and do try to make those changes that the WAS requests...especially when an A is revealed. If the WAS is heavily involved with OW/OM...they aren't really looking to improve the M..they are just validating why they are leaving.
Going through this whole ordeal..really does force you to take a look at your life..and re-evaluate. The best part about the separation...it really gives you the opportunity to change not only what the WAS wants you to change...but it gives you the opportunity to change what YOU don't like about yourself...
It makes you realize how you were operating on auto-pilot...IMO.
