P.S. The details aren't important in any case. Unless something happened, the point is that someone other than you has been W's significant other for years.
P.P.S. Moreover, the point is not to push D to someone who still wants to save the marriage, DB, etc... after three years. You deny any interest in reconciliation, and, unlike many other people here, I'm rather inclined to believe you. So, you seem to be mostly stuck rather than actively working to reconcile or move forward. Enough time on the pot.
Not having a R does not mean your life is on hold! I have a good job where I help people (which I like most days), I like the co-workers I work with, I'm involved in numerous activities at my church, I have interests outside of DB posting (really, I do!), I have good friends and family, my kids are incredible and I have a good R with their mother. What's the problem, besides a lack of a female R? Yes, sometimes I feel lonely, sometimes I feel depressed and sometimes I grieve the loss of my M but on the whole I'm a fairly happy guy despite the Adrenal Fatigue, which I continue to fight. I tend to believe the AF came from the stress of the last five years of my marriage, which was incredibly difficult, and then transitioning to being separated. We're talking almost eight years of pretty high level stress, so I think I've done pretty damn well considering!
My last post, I want to keep up with your three in a row OT! There is a woman at my church who likes me but I'm leery of getting involved with someone who goes to my church groups. My church is my secure place and if I date someone there and mess it up...well, it makes my safe place not so safe anymore. I'd also date my Naturopath, if she wasn't my Naturopath, she seems to really like me and yes, I can still tell these things!!! So my hormones are still working despite not having a R. I also checked out Yahoo Personals and apparently they're closing that sucker down in July...I guess Plenty of Fish has wiped them out! Btw, Kat wants to buy me a Peanut Buster Parfait, but I'm playing hard to get!
Dunno about dating someone from church, don't really have any thoughts on that...
But, sincerely, it really is not fair for you to date anyone given where you are and insist on staying. Dating while separated and headed for divorce when DONE, sure, fine. Dating while married with no intention of divorcing, not OK.
Ask your C about the physical and emotional overhead of living like you've been living. Stress from the M could certainly start adrenal fatigue, but you'd be better if that overhead stress was really gone. It isn't.
I'll stop now for a few months, if you answer the question I asked about your brother and how you'd feel about him doing the same thing...
It has nothing to do with being in an R. Go join a monastery! Getting unstuck has nothing to do with your love life. It has to do with being DONE, closing the old dead chapters of your life and moving to a real positive future. Of course, I don't really think you are the solitary type, and being stuck his hurting you as well by keeping you alone.
