I can't count the times I've thought that, working for doctors, I could get hold of enough medicine to just 'go to sleep', but I wouldn't give the SOB the satisfaction. I know revenge is not our motive here, but truly, living well is the best.
Par4, you are probably hitting your 'rock bottom' and the only thing to do now is look up. If this situation you find your self in is not the ENTIRE reason you are considering this, then you need to reach out for help, which you have done here, in a sense. Reach out a bit farther, and if the help is not what you are seeking, find another helper.
