No going back....

[hoosiermama]

I know its me I have to focus on now, and I'm doing pretty well I think, have gone from thinking it was all my fault, and then to , it wasnt all my fault, to - why did I put up with some of that stuff - thatsnot me - wheres me gone?

So I'm finding myself again, slowly, and it feels nice, like welcoming a soul home, and appologising for having left it out in the cold for a while to tend to someone elses needs .

I think you will find, pie, that this is the crux of the whole matter in the end. no matter how things end up with your marriage, the one thing you can control is how you take care of you. and this process can transform you, if you let it--again, regardless of the outcome of your marriage. no one wants to hear this in the beginning; they only want their marriage, their life back. Been there, done that. but you can get something even better, either way--you can get your self back. and with that you get an entirely new perspective; for those of us who have back-burnered ourselves for the sake of our marriages and our spouses, we learn to see again with our own eyes. you already have a sense of that, and you have expressed it beautifully. keep following that intuition and it will lead you home.