Wife abandoned me...Now What?

[Mike.4545]

Thanks Sandi and Deep...I think you both are just spot on with this. I also think she is still in contact with the OM...at least over the phone/web. I guess whether the OM is involved or not...my game plan remains the same? That's what it sounds like as I can't prove she is talking to him, and I really can't stop it either.

I've been following the advice I got here as best I can. I keep myself upbeat and pleasant over the phone. I don't try to talk about our relationship or her Affair...but just regular everyday stuff. I try to keep my words brief, and say goodbye first. I don't say I love you, miss you, or any of that, like I had been doing for so long. Sometimes I let myself miss her call/text/email, and wait several hours or until the next day to return the message.

Most of our contact has to do with sharing time with our puppy, finances, or her sending me job postings...as I'm looking for a new job right now. Most of this is stuff I shouldn't avoid talking to her about...it just wouldn't make sense I don't think. She has been sending me more and more job postings, and has actually called a couple times this week...seemingly to make plans for taking our puppy for the weekend, but that quickly turns into normal friendly conversation and her asking about what I've been up to lately.

I honestly don't really know what to do about all the job postings she sends me. I know she's spending a lot of time looking for these on my behalf, and with each one I say thank you, and appreciate her help very much. I guess a nice "Thank you" each time would suffice and not be bad. WoW, I really hate feeling like I have to analyze and justify every single word I communicate with her!

I feel like I'm doing a little better lately...and probably because I've decided (with your help), on a game plan to focus on. With this goal in mind, I don't feel as much like I'm spinning in circles with my head cut off. I think this is the only thing really giving my peace right now...that I know I'm doing all that can be done. I still feel such unbelievable pain thinking of my life without her, what she's done, her affair, etc...and sometimes I just break down and can barely stand up...but a lot of the time, I just try to block those thoughts from my head and focus on something positive.