Boundaries

[Ready2Change]

Never bluff with your marriage. Only file if divorce is something you're actually willing to do.

To me, that's the beauty of boundaries, or -- as I like to call them -- "My Boundaries of Personal Integrity." Only YOU know what they are, but they should be a very short list; your "dealbreakers," as it were . . . those things that you, as a person with your values, morals and ethics, simply CANNOT ABIDE.

And this is how it works, in practical application: If you decide that "I will not live in an open marriage," and you state that as a boundary to a cheating spouse, and if that drives them away from you, and toward the other person? Well, then that's THEIR CHOICE, and them cheating -- and staying with me -- wasn't an option for me anyway, based on my own authenticity and values, so what have I lost?

All I've lost in that instance is something that I could not have abided anyway.

"You must choose between her or me" is an ULTIMATUM. It's about THEM.

Boundaries should be about YOU -- "I will not live in an open marriage." Or maybe for you it's "I"m not willing to try this marriage with you again with some good marriage counselling." It's then up to the other person to decide what to DO with that information you've now shared with them, so seriously.

Puppy