Think I am dead now.

[Deep]

I won't say too much as I'm unsure if I will say the right things.

I will just add that right now you may feel your life sucks so bad, and is so empty, you have nothing to lose.

You do. You can turn what sucks into something better over time. You can fill emptiness. As long as there's life. If you feel unable to give yourself love right now, that's ok - go talk to someone who can help you regain a sense of hope.