Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

Been awhile so I figured I would update. Unfortunately not much new. Still have not heard from W. Last time I heard from her was two weeks ago by email regarding house update.

Still have not been able to find evidence of OM in the picture. My "sources" tell me no signs. I heard she is wearing a boot on her foot again. She broke her foot exercising back in December and had to wear a boot. Someone told me they saw her last week wearing the boot again. Guess she must have broken it again. Also found out that she is on vacation this week and all next week. Don't know where or who's she's with. I have a feeling she is either on vacation with her GF (they seems to do everything together) or her family. The GF that W hangs out with a lot is divorced and has her own issues. Funny because my W never used to like hanging out with her but now they are best buddies. Not a person who I believe is a good influence on W. I did find out that I was wrong about one thing I thought my W was not being truthful to me about. I confirmed (through my "sources") that she was being honest about it.

I'm not sure that the DBing is working. I have pretty much been dark for two months now. Ever since I sent flowers to W at the end of April I have left her alone except to answer her emails regarding house updates. She has made no attempt to contact me. I don't know what's going on anymore. No signs of OM, I've been dark and nothing from W. Very frustrating. Felt strange when I learned she is on vacation this week and next. Her last vacation was with me last September. I didn't expect her to tell me she was going on vacation these two weeks but it just reaffirms the big secrecy on her part. Guess she could care less about the house during this time or the dogs. Meaning, if something happened with either I would not know where to contact her. Oh well, probably just more of me being hurt because she is on vacation without me for the first time. Going to be a tough two weeks. I know she's be gone now for a long time but there's just something about knowing she is on vacation having a great time without me.

I feel like she is being so selfish. All of this cutting and running stuff. It's immature and selfish. I've taken this time apart to really think about what I could have done better, Yes, I think at this point I know what I should have done. It was no big mystery. Most of it was the financial support. Some other things as well and I realize those too. Nothing, I repeat, nothing that cannot be fixed.

So what to do now? She won't be back until 4th of July weekend. I know she'll have to contact me by mid July. That's when the current house contract expires with the agent and we would need to renew. I've been doing a lot of thinking about if I want to renew or not. I'll be moving back into the house soon. I think I am getting this new job. Things have just taken longer than anticipated but still moving forward.

I've been doing my thing. Living my life, etc. I found another time to go to gym so I don't run into W. I have completely left her alone. Not sure what else I can really do. I've kept my changes. Been very easy to do now that I "woke-up". I needed a swift kick in the a$$ and she gave it to me. I've done everything I said I was going to do...she just doesn't know it. How do I get her to know without it coming off as pursuit? The shock and awe of this is over for me and has been for some time now. I can now talk with W like adults and figure out if this is something we both want to work on or not. Problem is do I now ask her for this conversation or not? It's been 8 1/2 months now. She still hasn't told me HER specific reasons for leaving. I pretty much know why.

Friend of mine who has been separated from his W is now trying to get back together. She had an A in December. He got on with his life and told her he would not accept a M in which she was with OM. He did a good job of going NC with her. She came to him last week and wants to go to MC now and save the M. Sometimes I feel like if my W had OM it might be easier for us to try to reconcile. Bust the A and then get on to working on the M. Seems to pretty much be the way it goes. I am grateful that my sources still tell me there is no OM but it makes me scratch my head as to why she still cannot talk to me. I'm not sure I have seen another sitch here where the W has not talked to H for so long when there isn't OM in the picture? I do have a couple of friends who have gone this long and longer before their W talked to them. So I guess just hang in there and continue patience. I guess she is a true WAW? W, can we please, at some point, be mature about this and talk?