BD, we know nothing for sure about what your WH's real "intentions" are.
Sure we do... He filed for divorce. Its not an easy thing to do, especially when your XW if PG. They say Love is the strongest emotion; can you imagine how much stronger of an emotion he felt to have filed so confidently and quickly. His only intention is to be divorced and share the baby.
I appreciate your hopes, but I feel they are simply b/c you, me and every LBS on here is always hoping for R for someone. Always looking for the silver lining. I know there is nothing I can do to make him think of coming back.
I am pretty sure if I back off and not let him take part, create a schedule of visitation, boundaries, anything to create distance between me and him, he would accept it. When he first left, and I didn't speak to him, or avoided him, etc. He was okay with it. He even sent me divorce papers via certified mail b/c at that point I had NC w/ him and he still wanted to serve me. He didn't even care. He says he knows its all part of the territory. When I mention the PT dad thing or step parents or him not being allowed to see the baby whenever he feels like, he sulks and says he understands bc I need to do what it takes to accept things. He is an awful and trulyy horrible for what he did. But not stupid about reality.
I know you mean well and I thank you for your positive vibes. I'm sorry to be so pitiful and drabby. I just don't think my sitch has any more hope than anyone else on here. Just b/c there is no OW doesn't make it easier. In fact, thos LBS who have a WH w/ LBS have gone through the stages of anger/hurt/ acceptance of the OW, I still prepare myself everyday for it. Let's be real... A 31 male doesn't leave his wife and child because he just wants to be single! Of course he wants to date, I asked him, he says yes, eventually. Meaning what? After the baby is born? Or when he starts working next month and makes crazy money, and can now afford his own place, and to take her out! I'm no naïve to reality. This is the end of my rope.
I need to find some books on closure, acceptance, ending relationships. Having the baby will be even harder b/c I think it is a reality that I am a single mom. He is and will not be there. He never ever in the past 6 months ever changed his mind.
Honestly, its just me who is in denial for so long. I honestly thought time, and relief from the pressure of school and the baby couldve helped him find his way back.
I need to do this now. And not in a month when the baby is here and still am in the same boat w H. Or instead wait until I find out about OW.
Thanks Piano, but it is what it is. A divorce. The finale.
