No going back....

[Truegritter]

Hello Pie

Also on the subject of an A - it is very possible that he's having an online affair for example he takes time off work , and sits at his apartment, and I can see he is online the whole time.

It is very possible and (most of the time) where there is smoke there is fire.

I am with Cat on this one but only you can say if you really need to know.

Let me walk you through that scenario.

You obssess about whether H is having A.

You get some indication your suspicion is true.

Confront H.

H says You're wrong if I am guilty of anything it's having an inappropriate conversation

Truth is you'll never know since you aren't in the room when the dirty deed is committed.

Still not satisfied? You'll snoop more if you can.

You'll obsess about it.

Feel like it is all your fault.

Feel like sh!t

Your self esteem plummets

You question your own desirability.

You'll probably throw up multiple times

You'll wake up at 4:32 a.m. every morning for about a month and won't go back to sleep.

You'll figure out this is all very unhealthy for you.

You'll realize that you can't control any of this.

You'll realize that what H did was something he did to himslef and NOT you.

You begin to realize you have to detach.

You'll finally be in a place to gain perspective that you did have something to do with the demise of your M

You'll figure out that THAT in no way justifies H having A.

You'll start to look inside and begin to take care of the person most deserving of all the attention you wasted on H's affair.

That person is YOU.

So why not skip all this crap and just focus on you?

Please.

Or

Experience is also a good teacher.

No matter what I say you will do what you have to do and that's ok too.

My fingers hurt from typing...

Oh yeah and welcome to best worst place to be ...

Bye Pie

for now...