Not to imply anyone is a dummy but they do have some books that help you figure out the office programs. I have one that helps with excel anyway. I got part way through it and then found out I wouldn't be using it the way I thought I would in my job. So I laid it aside.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
It's a HUGE book! I tried to find one part in here and it took an hour. I was really lost at first. But I think I may be able to figure out things a little quicker, now that I have a couple of week's experience with it.
My H takes my S to see his family once or twice a month and for the past 6 months I haven't gone. I don't know what he says to his family, and don't really have time to care.
But I have missed my S-in-L. She is a great gal, and we have a lot in common. I thought her daughter was in college already (she starts later in the month) and her son will be on the same fishing vacation as mine next week, with her H gone as well.
I called her today to see if she would have some time later in the week as I was thinking of visiting her and bringing Marina along for company.
Well, long story short, she knew we were having problems, and I expressed I would not be going down with my H any time soon (as he is too controlling on these trips). I told her I'd like to talk to her more about my sitch, but I pretty much got the feeling I shouldn't do that (from C's and books and things--not to involve family).
She said that the only thing she knew my H was saying was that he has been unhappy for a long time.
I am livid over this last remark. OMG!! HE's been unhappy!! What part of controlling your W and living like a freaking KING around here made him so "unhappy"??? He does what he wants,when he wants, runs ALL over me--I have FINALLY been able to reach behind myself and find a backbone back there--and this is what he is telling his family??
I have a mind to go down there and bring the pictures of my bruised and swollen face from the last time he touched me. They are from 6 or 7 years ago, but he threatened me only last Jan.
And wouldn't his family love to know how he started abusing his son verbally as well. What a wonderful guy he is.
They have no idea who this person is. None. He lies to them, pretends he is something that he is not, it's sickening.
My H wouldn't put up with being "unhappy" with me for a week, let alone MONTHS. What is this? What is he waiting for? If he's unhappy, why doesn't HE go get the divorce??? He is SUCH a martyr (sarcasm!!) Sacrifising his own happiness, doesn't he just win the Oscar on the fine performance he must be giving.
I am SO tempted to take my evidence and lay it all out to these people. Just how wrong is this. Don't I have a right to defend myself here? If he was so unhappy with me, why start a huge remodelling project. Why buy $4000 worth of appliances (that are rotting in the garage).
I've been postint on other's threads about the "fireplace debacle".lol. I contacted our original C on Friday as my H said he would continue to see him--he "liked him a lot" were his words and not mine.
So on Monday the C calls back and tells me he can see us at 4. I call him back and let him knw my H is on the trip that they planned and we spoke of (I was supposed to get my own trip--never happened) Told the C it was just me, so we'd have to come in the following Monday.
He asked how things were going and I have been SO distraught--I said "terrible", and that he didn't want to see a weepy mess so it was best to come in next week. He said "come in--I want to talk to you." I told him I had lost my part-time job and didn't have money and he said "come in anyway, pay what you can".
So I went. Told him I'd done EVERYTHING he had told me to do. Told him how my H had done nothing, so I did the next thing the C had said and did the things on HIS list. (Prioritize the projects and get 3 estimates for each). That still, things were awful.
And that he had not touched me for 5 months. The C said "that is emotional abuse". I'm like--yeah, I already knew that--WHAT am I supposed to do??
He asked me what the first thing on the list was and I said "remove the fireplace--and I just want to rip it out with my bare hands" (now, originally I fought my H on this one--it is probably a $8000 fireplace but it takes up 1/3 of our living room and H despised it.) So techincally, it is not a project that "I" wanted.
The C said "do it". I was like...really? I am getting permission to do this??
I felt a tickle in the bottom of my gut--it rippled upward and I started LAUGHING like a HYENA!! I couldn't help myself--I was saying "I LOVE YOU!!
I left giggling my head off. Wow--that felt amazing.
So, I borrowed a sledgehammer from the neighbor and me and the little Russian wailed away at that thing and then it was like--yikes!! this is work!!!
So the next day I got a family friend to remove it. There is nothing there as I write this. And the person that removed it said we did the right thing. And neighbors have stopped by to admire it and said we did the right thing.
Now my strategy tomorrow is to telll my husband he loves it (no "hoping")and point out how HARD I worked on this--I have been cleaning up the mess as this guy goes along and I am not BELIEVING the dust. I think if I had known this in the beginning I wouldn't have done it!lol.
Thanks Kat, I am nervous today, but strangely excited. I don't know if I'm kidding myself, but I think my H will like it! Everyone that came by to see it agreed that it opens the room up and makes it look so much more spacious. That thing dominated the room. I didn't want to lose it, btw. I fought H about that. But he was right. It had to go.
I got a bit of comic relief yesterday lurking on your thread.lol. Speedos and all that!lol.
Picked up H from the airport (without S--he gets a 6 day side vacation with Grandpa and will be home Thurs). I was pretty cool to him--told him I didn't really want to hear a lot about the trip until my S gets home and then they can both tell me together. So he asks about my week, I tell him "some" but not "all" of course.
I got more and more nervous as we got near the house--started asking little things about the trip to keep him from noticing.
When we got home I turned on the voice activated recorder--I also had a family member calling to make sure I'm alright. I honestly didn't know how this was going to go!
So he comes in and I can tell he's pretty shocked and doing the guy thing of trying not to let it show. He asks how much it cost, who did the work, etc. Then I get the whole thing how his family was going to come up to do this and I blasted him--Your dad is 73 years old and your friends don't need to be treated like servants. You make enough money to afford this (it was pretty cheap to do, considering how much work there was!) and I'm sick of you being like this with your family. Have them up for a PARTY or something, not to WORK for YOU!
So then he says somewhere in there, why didn't you do XYZ. Ha! I didn't know I could! but I plan on it!!
So at some point he is ? defeated looking or something--so I go for a hug and he says "you never talk to me anymore" (I don't listen to him complain about me--guess that is the "talking" he is missing!) I said, I try but you have been so ugly. He says "you could just hold me". I'm like hey...I have TRIED THAT TOO for MONTHS!! (the counselor said to do that and I HAVE).
Then he says, come in the bedroom and hold me now. I'm like, Ok--but you are REALLY STINKY!!lol.
So he goes for a shower and while in there he asks me to get his razor--he is really scruffy looking. I said "leave it--it looks good on you". He can't hear me and I get up and tell him to "leave it--it's sexy".
And he grabs me by my (very) loose shorts and pulls me in the shower with him and it was really amazing!!
I need the laughs too so it is good all the way around.