Wow on the sexual addiction stuff. Very interesting.
You asked if it mattered SA or MLC? Truth, it doens't really.
Honestly, it is the sort of behavior that fits right in with MLC. That is just my MO though.
What Jack said about doing for you, to outlast his MLC for as long as you can, I agree with that.
Right now your H doesn't have to have the secrecy with the chats and stuff that he did before so you may see it escalate for a while.
Unfortunately, you only know what he has shared with you as far as his SA and his counseling. There is no way of knowing what he and his therapist talked about to lead her/him to this diagnosis. So to attempt to figure out which "stage" he is in there is very difficult. It may come, down the road, to the point where he DOES need inpatient treatment. If he gets there, well, then that is what he needs.
It is not something that you can control, stop, slow down, or hurry along. It just isn't.
This really is no different than alcohol or drug addiction and there are great support groups out there for family members of people with those problems. You might want to ask your IC if she knows of anything for this. Or maybe she can give you some literature on AA.
It will help you to learn how to step out of your role in the cycle and keep this from doing more damage to you.
Irish, regardless of what you want to call this, it isn't an easy road.
While you do have responsibility for your part in the breakdown of the M (we all do), you are not responsible or the cause in any way of H's behavior and choices.
Right now, I would like to hear a little more about Irish, who are you? What are your hobbies, likes, dislikes, fears, and frustrations?
What about you do you like, and what would you like to change?
I am not saying don't keep learning about what you are dealing with, understanding will help YOU deal with it, but you identified the whole woman, wife, mother thing in therapy and it may be time to start putting more of the focus on those thing. You have to understand and know yourself and your desires in order to grow.
Take a step every day my friend.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
