Mike, I think she's still having the EA. I don't think she's being honest with you but rather trying (in her crazy way)give you just enough information to make it "easier" on you. The OM called to check on her! That is not good at all. Plus, she told you about it. I think that's her way of letting you know that OM is still out there and interested in her.
Don't profess your love to her. Don't proclaim your faithfulness and tell her you will stick it out no matter how long it takes for her to find herself or whatever. She needs to wonder if your love for her is gone. She needs to see you not as a victim--but a strong, confident man who is moving on with his life. She needs to think that you are not distroyed by her--and that your life goes on. It's better if she's wondering just how much longer you will endure a S, instead of knowing she has your heart in her pockett.
Mike I was going to do the same thing as your W has done. I was going to get an apartment so when OM came to town, we would have my place to conduct the PA. When he wasn't able to make it to my town then we would communicate by web. But, I knew my H would never help me financially and I could not make it on my own. I believe it is a big mistake for the LBH to help his W live apart from their home.
The tennis date? If she invites you, politely decline b/c you have other plans.
I think you need to choose the emails & calls wisely and continue to back off. If she doesn't love you and needs her space then why so many contacts?
I believe you were like so many other males. You thought things were fine until she hit you with the bomb. Apparently, there were emotional needs that she had that were not being met and she turned to OM.
I don't think she is completely through with you, but I think you need to handle your end very carefully.\
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
