Thanks Jack - I know its me I have to focus on now, and I'm doing pretty well I think, have gone from thinking it was all my fault, and then to , it wasnt all my fault, to - why did I put up with some of that stuff - thatsnot me - wheres me gone?
So I'm finding myself again, slowly, and it feels nice, like welcoming a soul home, and appologising for having left it out in the cold for a while to tend to someone elses needs .
I'm also worried that I'm 'picking out' bad things about him, to help me to detach from him, and that all the bad things I 'pick on' are making me think that maybe I'll be better off But what about the good things, I'm scared to think of them now, because I'm scared they'll interfere with detachment..you know? So at the moment my strange stratedgy of thinking of the bad stuff is helping detach
I also battle with wether or not this is a MLC or just a WAH. The things that made me initially think its a MLC was that he initially said he feels like hes changing, becoming a different person, enjoying the 'jetsetting' business lifestyle. He's reconnected with his mom, who he hated. He said 'how can you know what you want out of life when you are 21'- when we got together. He said we were just kids...huh? he's only 33 now?
Does this sound like a MLC? I guess I want to know, becasue if its not I dont want to 'stand' to wait for the madness to end.
Something in my gut says it is, but I doubt my gut sometimes, thinking its what I WANT to believe maybe.Its better thinking hes temporarily insane leaving me, than thinking he has his head on straight and knows what he's doing...you know?
But what about the good things, I'm scared to think of them now, because I'm scared they'll interfere with detachment..you know? So at the moment my strange stratedgy of thinking of the bad stuff is helping detach 