Does DB'ing work if OW is playing the victim?!?!

[xin]

Here's my story again, hopefully i can get some advice or feedback.

3 months after I found out about H's EA, I've agreed to move out for 3 months so that H can find out if he still loves me. As most of you would have guessed, it only brought him closer to the OW.

While away, I contacted the OW and spoke to her politely about her relationship with my H. She insisted that they are only friends and she wants to help us in reconciling. This is after my H said they have kissed. But i decided to give her the benefit of a doubt and said if her intention is indeed innocent, and if she wants to help us, then it would be best her to stop contacting my H. I also asked her not to tell my H about our conversation. She agreed.

So i decided to move back with my H, about a week ago, hoping that there is still hope for us. But H told me that OW told him about my phone call. I flatly denied it and suggested that OW might be lying to try and destroy our M. H then got quite upset and said OW wants very much for our M to work and she is miserable as she is torn between her love for him and wanting to give it up for our M!!! It's obvious to me that the OW's action and talk is inconsistent as she has bought presents for my H and accepted a piece of expensive jewellery from him. But my H is blind to all that and appear to think of her as a "martyr" and i'm afraid she will win his heart because of this act!

I've tried not to pursue H and going out with friends and appear cheeful. But I've found that my husband response has been negative, e.g 3 months ago, he asked me for a separation after i came back from a night out with a girlfriend and a day after I arrived back, appearing cheerful and telling him my focus is to get a job, H asked why i had brought so much clothes back and how long i'm planning to stay?

So i decided to stop hiding my hurt and grief but stop short of begging and pleading. When he tried to bring up the subject of the duration of my stay last night, I started talking about how depressed I feel about not having a job and the difficulties i've had trying to secure a job, and that i'm feeling really alone now that he wants to leave me. And I didn't fight back my tears as i've been doing. This seemed to stop him from talking about my stay.

This morning i've also questioned him about the OW's professed love for him since she is till with her H. Hope i'm not putting ideas in his/her head now? I said to H i'd cut off my arm if that would bring him back to me. H was speechless after i said that.

Does anyone has any advice if I should continue down this path? If the OW is playing pathetic and winning his heart, shouldn't I do the same?! After all I have more to cry about that her!

Don't get me wrong, I'm also looking after myself in the meantime, like finding out about my rights in the event of a D and doing all I can do get a job. But like most of us here, I'd rather have my H back.