My question to you would be, how many years has it been since you have had "good" (engaged, enthusiastic) sex pretty much whenever you wanted it?
Never. Never seen a woman have an orgasm. Never had sex "whenever I wanted it". I've had "somewhat engaged" and "somewhat enthusiastic" sex early in my marriage, which was more like "the fun of novelty" on the part of my wife.
Which is why I'm asking the question of this thread. I've never had the kind of sexual relationship I now realize I could have had, and could still have. Not sure I could ever get my wife to that point. But I just want to understand myself and what is realistic and unrealistic, not just with my wife, but with anybody.
The thing is, I now realize I was very accomodating to my wife's limitations in the early years and I assumed she'd improve over the years. I totally bought into the bogus advice from magazine columns which said that women peak sexually around age 40, etc.
Ok. The reason I asked you that is because .... you don't even know what's realistic *for you*. Truly. If you aren't having regular sex with your wife, and what sex there is isn't particularly passionate, you just can't say with any accuracy how many times you would actually want to have sex in any given week. I call this "50 Pound Steak" problem, and I see it a lot in SSMs. A starving man thinks he could eat a 50 pound steak; just let him at it! The reality of his likely behavior when he gets back to regular meals will probably be quite different. Satisfying sex 1, 2, 3, 4 times a week might be enough and more for you *if you were actually getting it*. Fantasy-and-masturbation drive is apples to oranges by comparison. Deprivation does funny things to your thought process and perceived needs.
Under those circumstances, I don't see much percentage in number-of-sexual-encounter-per-week conversations. Seems like a tangent.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
