YOu can't make sense out of nonsense SS, just let it go or you will put yourself on some serious pills.. It's not worth it...
You are trying to control the situation by rationalizing how YOU did something to bring this about... thinking once you nail that down you just need to fix what you did...
Guess what? It wasn't you that did this.. it is HIM and HE needs to grow up and change himself...
You can set an adult example for him to follow to influence his choice to change, but you can't control him, so the analysis is pointless.. its just going to put you on some nasty pills...