H texted this AM to ask if I could "bring our daugther back just for the weekend." I said that no, he could meet me halfway or fly up and stay in a hotel. He gave me quite a bit of attitute and even suggested we meet halfway at 11pm at night so as not to mess up his work schedule. I of course said no way - and he then launched into a name-calling thing where he claimed I was "selfish" and "acting like a child." I stopped responding at that point. The lawyer did tell me to allow him to see my daugher, but I don't have to respond to BS texts.
Hours later he texted back with a more sensible plan where he is going to visit with daugher when he has a bit more time off work. Part of me HATES to give him this but at the same time my daughter misses home and her daddy, and the lawyer advised me to share her with him.
Intel confirms that he is staying at our home while I'm gone - he's ordered pizza there two nights in a row now. When he gets to see my daughter, he wants me to stay with my mom so that he can spend time with her at our house. I said "we'll see - not sure if I will be home or gone at that point and if I am home you can take her to your mom's."
I am having a really hard time navigating the lawyer's advice to give him contact with my daugher and the online advice here to go truly dark.
Also, would love advice about how to share her - when she spends time with my H, should I let him have her at house and be gone myself, or should I go sit in my house to make sure he understands what it's like to be a divorced dad. That will be a tough time for me sitting there alone - not enough friends/family in the area where we live to keep myself occupied and busy. Complicating the situation is that fact that there are a ton of my daughter's friends on the stree where we live and my daughter will not want to leave there - she is 4.5 and loves to play with neighbor friends all day.
One other thing on my radar: think I need to reach out to my inlaws (who don't support H's decisions) and let them know about why I have stayed. I know they supported me a week ago but my H could be running negative PR about me not bringing my daughter home. Don't think many people would support me using her like a "pawn", and while I don't think that's what I'm doing, it would be easy for my H to spin it like that.
