MLC, H and me

[newmama]

CW, first of all,

Told him that I didn't think that we could afford to stay here, child support would cover house payment, that is it.
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I know that I cannot count on his help (ex. the tree limb that fell that he has not helped with at all, the window a/c that he hasn't been back to fix) and I certainly wouldn't expect his help after our D!!!
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My boss, has found a house that she is thinking of investing in and wants me to consider doing a land contract on. It would be around $300 less a mo. than my current house payment.
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Since January, I have gone thru $5000 from my savings to continue to make ends meet here.

If we look at facts alone, the house is a money pit for you and causes you more stress to take care of than you need--therefore, IMO, it makes sense for you to move into another house that you can afford.

If you give your H the house, the sucky part is that he and OW might move into it!!!! But the benefit is that if/when you R, you all can move right back into the house! It never left. (but seriously- if he sells it, then does it really matter where you end up living if/when you reconcile? not really! :-) )

This is my fear:

I can't help but wonder, even with everything I have read, that H MIGHT think of this as me moving ON and would think that the door is shut for any reconciliation.

I do get this!!!!! You are validated!!! But let's flush this out a little more.

You will have a business meeting with your H and explain that you simply can't afford to stay in the house. And that it is way to much work. And that he is too busy to be able to help you. So, who wouldn't move out of the house?

Moving into another home doesn't really mean you wouldn't reconcile! It is for financial reasons...there is no other "man" involved, and you aren't leaving to make a point of doing it to rid yourself of the marriage.

My IC has told me time and again that our actions can be totally misunderstood by our spouse (and vice versa) UNLESS we explicitly tell them why we are doing it!

So what do you think? You aren't lying, or playing a game- you honestly can't afford to live there! Nothing to do with your relationship!

Ok am sending you an email about part 2!