2 weeks left to DB

[newmama]

Piano, I think you are wise to use the times that your H sees your daughter to show your changes. What changes are you making again?

I am also sooooo happy to hear that he loves visiting her! It makes me choked up!

So you said your H was attracted to you when you were motivated and busy. You can show that when emailing about your daughter! You know, the schedules for feeding, sleeping, tummy time, baby classes, outings, etc--you know what I am talking about! Well, sharing all of this stuff on email relays that you are busy and motivated. And if you get back into freelance, you can share that stuff, too! And you can ask his opinion (even though YOU are the one with her)

On the "non mom" side of yourself, will you be able to get babysitting so you can enrich your life? Wow, Piano, I have a hard time as it is and stbxh takes S 4 nights per week! So how are you going to do it?

Anyway, you can also try to be friends with your WH and share the things you are doing in your life on email. I was so confused and didn't really do that enough. I think that emotional bonding could have been powerful (don't mind me, still stuck in the guilt stage of divorce, lol!) Now citygirl did warn that when there is an OW, it probably doesn't matter if we danced on our heads or became the leading lady in a blockbuster movie. BUT if you see your WH every 6 months, then might as well give him a good impression. And try to re-establish and emotional bond.

Honestly, Piano, I am wondering "what if" I wasn't so distant? What if I did try to be open, honest and close with stbxh when he was visiting S over here? Yikes- I realize that this just contradicts what I said about what citygirl said! But I share it with you because the women who did succeed in "be the better option" allowed themselves to connect with their Hs while they were with OW. They truly became their friend and REALLY let them eat cake! Some also gave them backrubs, or even ML!

The downside is looking like you are pursuing and forget about your pride...

ok food for thought!