The heart of the matter

[newmama]

What I want to focus on now:
- Forgiveness. Letting go of the pain and anger, and keeping it from informing my behavior.
- Building a satisfying life for myself – and this is going to include being able to be alone without dwelling on the sadness, to be able to be complete. For this to no longer be what my life is about.
- Building a relationship with XW – yes – that is not based on the wreckage of our marriage. Meaning – is not based on wanting her to come home. That is not based on need, or repair, or wanting anything from her. That is not based on me rescuing her, or her needing me. That is not based on any expectations. Maybe that relationship is sparse – meaning we’re co-parents – and maybe it’s full – meaning we’re friends. Maybe there is a long-term path to reconciliation. But thinking about it too much will not be productive.- Being steady. Developing resilience. Staying calm. Coping with the bad moments.

geez, this is an awesome list of goals! definitive! I think I would like to borrow a few of your goals because they match my needs, too..and right now I have no idea where to begin!

But today you worked on that relationship with your exW by just being playful and not thinking about it! Well done!

So are you getting some good ideas for how to build a satisfying life for yourself?