I am taking paxil because I was extremely depressed about this situation and the thought I losing my family. I was very distressed and would get panicky every time W said she didn't love me and may never love me again. Caused me to be needy and depressed, which didn't help the situation at all. I had to go to the dr. 3 times over 4 months before he would finally give me meds. I don't know where my high libido comes from, but he said he didn't think it was necessarily bad for someone my age. I wish he would have given it to me earlier so I could have stopped pursuing sooner. He also gave me Chlorazepate to take when I have serious anxiety attacks. I have never taken anything like these drugs before, but I felt it was the only way I could cope with the situation. I was completely out of my mind. Still am some days. Started taking the drugs in May.
Never been in sex therapy.
Actually, I am agreeing that it was VERY selfish. I said that thus far, I have defended myself, but after much thought and many sleepless nights, I do realize how extremely selfish it was and how it must have made her feel. I am more than very sorry. I am ashamed of what I have done to her. I was relentless.
The question at hand is whether to tell her that I agree with her or not at this point. It wasn't 3 times per day, but maybe 5 times per week. maybe more some weeks. Sometimes twice per day, like morning and night.
I have apologized for most things, but have not agreed with her yet that I have been selfish. I don't know if apologizing at this point helps or hurts. I would think helps, which is why I wrote the apology, but I have also been so needy and pursuing that has also turned her off and I have to find the strength to stand again. I have been a doormat for 5 months doing everything I thought was right, only to watch it blow-up in my face.
