I'm a bit confused. Are you taking Paxil for depression? Are you, or have you ever been in sex therapy? IDK, but you say she would have sex and never say "no", but some places I read in your thread points to the fact you knew she didn't want to at times. Once you said she "rarely" said no.

I know what it is like to have sex when it is terribly painful. When the man continues to have sex even though she has told him how she feels....it can cause a lot of very negative feelings toward him. I also know that many women are taught that they are suppose to submit to the H wanting sex. If she does this for a span of time without the man becoming more considerate....well, it could close her heart to him.

If I understand it, you still do not see yourself as being selfish b/c you worked hard to give your family a nice life. A lot of that reasoning is due to the differences in how men & women think. Your W saw you being extremly selfish when you took care of your sexual needs regardless of how it made her feel. This was a huge blow to her already low self-esteem.

The fact that her body responded 80% of the time is no way to measure her feelings about having sex with you. What if you could only perform or finish 80% of the time?

It just seems that you were relentless in having sex 3 or more times a day. Until you can understand how she must have felt (at least as best you can), I don't think you will be able to see that as being an act of selfishness. But it is whenever she was run down, over-whelmed or whatever. That is what her main objection is, or so it appears to me. If you can't agree with how she saw it, then that will keep the two of you apart. A lot more than her having an EA.

I'm not supporting her having an EA.....but I understand it.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!