MLC, H and me

[courageous wife]

ok guys...needing some input...this is what I have been pondering the last couple of days...

So....needing some adivce here..

My H filed for a D the end of Feb. When I asked him about telling the kids, he freaked and said "this is what you expected isn't it?"

(I had had the talk with him..."you will need to make a decison. i choose our M but I won't live in an open M" (this was before I knew about MLC). H took that as make a choice...he chose OW.)


H was approached about a LS instead of a D after his and my L talked and he flatly refused...this was in April...no further action has been taken by H.

I counter-filed, on the recommendation from my L, and it was sent to H's L 6 weeks ago...we have not heard a peep...my L said that H does not have to respond.

This is what I am thinking...


The house I live in now, is old and big. It is in the need of repair. It has a huge yard. I had a market analysis done on it and we are upside down on our loan. I told this to H and he was shocked and suprised. Told him that I didn't think that we could afford to stay here, child support would cover house payment, that is it. Told him that I was thinking of moving to the town that the kids go to school in...he said that he didn't mean for any of this to happen. In spite of me telling him this, he has still been out cutting wood for out wood stove...denial? He said at that time that he'd help out with stuff and keep bringing wood.

I know that I cannot count on his help (ex. the tree limb that fell that he has not helped with at all, the window a/c that he hasn't been back to fix) and I certainly wouldn't expect his help after our D!!!

My boss, has found a house that she is thinking of investing in and wants me to consider doing a land contract on. It is in the town the kids go to school in, it is in need of nothing as far as repair etc...it is cheap. It would be around $300 less a mo. than my current house payment.

My issue is, I would have to abandon the house that I am in right now...I could hand it over to H and be done. Since January, I have gone thru $5000 from my savings to continue to make ends meet here. If, there was a guarantee that H would come out of his MLC and come home, I would gladly go thru the rest of my savings to remain here, but since there is not a guarantee....

I guess I am putting this out there to find out what any of you would do in my situation?

To me, IF I do this, it is part of moving "forward" (not moving on). I would be moving forward in the best interest financially for me and easiest as far as having the kids closer to school and activities and their brother. I would have to talk to my L and find out what this would do to my credit etc and how to proceed first before I do anything.

I am thinking of having a "business" meeting with H to discuss a couple of things, would I tell him about this?



This is my fear:

I can't help but wonder, even with everything I have read, that H MIGHT think of this as me moving ON and would think that the door is shut for any reconciliation.