My Wife And Her Emotional Affair

[Allen A]

I think OM gets a notice that he's not to go near Ken or the family.. I think yes?

I think that OMW should be told there's a restraining order on him... once OM knows of course...

I doubt OM will tell his wife.. It's not exactly something you brag about...

[ken5140]

NEED HELP: The court called and said that I could not request a RO on someone that I have not lived with, but I may be able to do a stalking order, so I will look into that. But now I have another dilema, W wants to go to church because some old friends have come to visit and are going to be speaking, but OMW just called me to tell me that OM will be in church and not to "freak out". I can't keep W from going, so what should I do?

Every time both W and OM are there, they try to sneak off to the hallway together to talk.

[MrBond]

It goes back to boundaries. Have you established boundaries with her concerning the OM?

It sounds like you and the OMW are powerless. Not so. Has she ever tried stopping her H?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

It goes back to boundaries. Have you established boundaries with her concerning the OM?

It sounds like you and the OMW are powerless. Not so. Has she ever tried stopping her H?

They've BOTH been powerless, thru this entire ordeal.

Good lord.

Puppy

[ken5140]

Neither W nor OM respect boundaries. In that sense, I think OMW and I ARE essentially powerless. About the only power that I have had has been to get the law involved.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Respect is EARNED, Ken. There is a seriousness that is conveyed, and a consistency to the consequences that kick in, that shape the behavior of the misbehaven.

That hasn't happened here, and I've followed your sitch from damned near the beginning.

Simply put, your wife and OM don't take you or OM's wife seriously, they don't respect you, they view your objections to their illicit relationship as WEAK, and they've been thumbing their collective noses as the both of you all along.

Puppy

[MrBond]

PDT is correct.

Has the OM been walking all over his wife?

[ken5140]

I just know that OM has no respect for me or his wife.

Respect is EARNED, Ken. There is a seriousness that is conveyed, and a consistency to the consequences that kick in, that shape the behavior of the misbehaven.

That hasn't happened here, and I've followed your sitch from damned near the beginning.

Puppy

So what COULD I have done that I didn't do? Ask her to leave? That I have done several times. And every time I get ready to use a TSO to get her out, she fools me into thinking that they are cutting it off.

[ken5140]

Right now, I just need help with this:

W wants to go to church because some old friends have come to visit and are going to be speaking, but OMW just called me to tell me that OM will be in church and not to "freak out". I can't keep W from going, so what should I do?

Every time both W and OM are there, they try to sneak off to the hallway together to talk.

How do I deal with the OM in church? Should I confront him? If so, how? OMW has called me twice asking me not to do what I did last week (call him a creep).

[sandi2]

So what COULD I have done that I didn't do?

Let's not go down that road again. Stay focuses on what you can do now.