You're right. I do appreciate a woman's perspective on this and I do agree with you and with her also. I have been an insensitive jerk in this area and I am more than ashamed of my actions. I just didn't see it while it was happening. You are right, it was easier for her this way, but she also should have said no more forcefully or just walked away when she had the chance instead of coming back to bed. I do understand that I should have listened better and I want her to know that I understand that now.
So the question at hand is whether or not to apologize for this since I have always defended myself against her claims of my selfishness, although I have apologized for everything else, I think. I spent 5 full months giving this everything that I had and I don't feel like she has really tried at all. I have been a doormat. So I am only 2 weeks in to DBing and now what do I do? Apologize yet again, or remain strong and detached. I can't stand the thought of losing her, but am getting stronger about moving on without her if I have to. All the guys have said "don't do it." I am waiting to hear from puppy again after he has some time to think about it. Part of me thinks this apology might melt her heart and part of me thinks she just doesn't care anymore and I can hardly blame her.
She/we have a really good life set-up and this D will be a major set-back for us all. I do have lots of good redeeming qualities too, but they may not be enough to offset my actions here. I just want this to work so badly. I want to do what works, not what I think is right.
