having a stable, loving home to break the crazy cycle in which I had been raised.
You are HALF of that equation..well the Mother, wife and woman part of that equation...not sure how much the kids bring to the table. : )
So you do your best to find ways to stick it out as long as you can and outlast his MLC. You figure out what you can do to keep your mind of of it, to not dwell to do whatever you MUST do to last as long as you can for as long as you can.
And if they come back...the hard part begins.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
[quote] So you do your best to find ways to stick it out as long as you can and outlast his MLC. You figure out what you can do to keep your mind of of it, to not dwell to do whatever you MUST do to last as long as you can for as long as you can.
And if they come back...the hard part begins.
Amen!I only wish there was a magic pill to make it all easier to do. I wonder if hypnotisim would work?
ME: 54 Him: 51 M: 20 years T: 21 years OW/New wife: 36 Sons & Daughters: 7 (ages 24-36) Bomb: March 4, 2010 He Filed: April 28, 2010 I Contested: May 1, 2010 Standing Down: 11/24/10 Divorced : 05/04/2011
I hope you all know what a Godsend you have been:) I have NEVER blogged before in my entire life (now you know how desperate I am! :)) H went to watch S play in tourney today. I chose to stay back - needed rest, space. H calls and asks if he can come by the house to "brag" to me about S's performance in front of S. Apparently S was cool to H at the tourney. I hesitated but ended up saying ok - not because I want to see H - I have been really hoping to go a few weeks with no visuals. But because of S. I don't know how to know if I am making good decisions. Another thing - what do you say to people who ask what is going on with you two?
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
ok- not trying to give play by play here - but H texts again that he has been in contact with oldest D who is coming into town next week. He texts me "Can we try to have a cookout at least once while all of them are in?" My response "Day at a time. I can't make promises right now." He responds "OK" Did I screw up? Am I supposed to be 100% accommodating if I want M to work? I am so sorry I am incompetent at this right now!
Last edited by irishblessings; 06/24/1011:56 PM.
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
You are absolutely not incompetent! If there is an 'expert' at this out there, I wouldn't want to be them. It seems to me that your answer about the cookout was perfect. And no, you cannot be 100% accomodating. That WOULD be the definition of a doormat. It also defeats the purpose of the 180. Why don't you do as you said and take it a day at a time ( look who's talking) and see how your oldest D feels about the cookout. I know what my D's would say.
Jack! It's much easier to say it than to live it. I must be getting better. I caught myself checking out a guy at work today, comparing him to my husband. Probably a momentary glitch in my hard drive.
