Thanks puppy. I'll try to give yo a little more background.
I did try to initiate sex with her A LOT. Almost every day and sometimes at night and then in the morning again. I did pursue her even when she had a yeast infection and it hurt her some. But she never turned me down. I asked her why and she said it wasn't that easy with the pressure I was putting on her. I would "make the moves" and she would give in. She was trying to make me happy. I told her that lifting her butt off the bed so I could slide off her panties was the same as saying yes. I guess I apologized, but I always tried to defend my actions in the past. I didn't realize how hurt she really was.
I don't know. Even after she blew-up in Jan, when she said she probably wouldn't want to have sex for a while, we still did it a number of times per week at first. She even initiated a couple times and then said she just did it for me, wanted to get it over with and got nothing out of it. Except orgasms, I say. One night she got 2 and then went out to the garage for her usual smoke. I was in the bathroom when she came back so she found me and said "Thanks for the great "O", two of them." I told her that is why I was confused. A few days later it was the same story, did it for you, resent you for it, etc.
Then, in May, after her planned meeting with OM (with friends in tow, of course)fell apart, I came home from a 2 night camping trip with our S and had to leave shortly on a 2 night business trip, I aksed her if she wanted to "go upstairs" for a few minutes before I had to leave. She said, "No, but I will do it if you want me to." I turned that down because that had backfired on me once before and she continues to hold that over my head too. I asked her later if she would have resented me if I would have taken her up and she said "probably". I said, "You can't keep doing this. It is not fair to agree and then hold it against me. Why would you do that?" Her reply was "I don't know. Hoping you would turn me down."
The other time this happened, I was still in bed in the am and asked her to come back for some fun. She said there wasn't one ounce of her that wanted to do it with me at the moment, but if I wanted to, she would. What do you think I did? Later she drug this back out and said "Who does that?" So I said, "Who comes over and gets back in bed? Why didn't you just walk away?" I still don't know why.
Our relationship has been a lot of sex since the very beginning. I always thought we had a great time. After the kids, it got tougher on her, I am sure, but still rarely said no, and when she did, it was no.
