When “the “done” bomb was dropped, I looked back over the last year and thought, even though I did need to change, that it couldn’t be “all” me. In my mind you had been showing all of the classic signs of a mid-life crisis for months (going out until 2-3 in the morning once or twice a week, new boobs, excessively working out, etc.). Many of our friends noticed the changes in your behavior as well which further helped me rationalize this line of thinking. I thought that by permanently stopping my drinking and helping out more around the house that I could fix the situation. When we weren’t getting any positive results, I got frustrated and a million different things started to go through my mind. I truly started to believe that this was more a MLC than anything and that another man might even be involved. As such, if others chose to believe along the same lines, I let them run with it. Who wants to be the “bad guy” right?
I don't think explaining yourself is necessarily defending in a way she would find unacceptable, but I sure think mentioning the friends seeing her change in what you have described as a negative thing (MLC) would sure as heck put her on the defensive right quick.
