OK, topic for today: What do you do to stop yourself from ruminating? I took today and tomorrow off work as vacation, the weather has been kind of off so it was hard to really plan to do much today. Normally, if the weathers nice, I'll just figure something out and off I'll go. last night we had a wicked thunderstorm which woke all three of us up at 4:30 am. and I know I had trouble sleeping again. I had to be up at 7:00 am to take D13 to school. So afterwards I came home, had a few coffees and started thinking...oh oh, the thinking. I don't usually sit and ruminate over the past because my big bugaboo is the future! I know it's not good to do this but I do it anyway!Then I think "I'll journal, get it out of my system" so I journal and journal and then realize I'm writing all the same crap I've written a hundred times before, what's the point? Finally, I dropped my D16 at her boyfriends and went to get a haircut. I came home, took a short nap and now have the evening ahead to do whatever as the girls are at their mom's tonight. I'm thinking of going to a baseball game but it's a forty minute drive to get there and forty minutes back. When I'm tired and such I seem to have these ruminating episodes and with Adrenal Fatigue I can tire easily if I don't get a decent nights sleep. I feel tired and weak and then start to worry about the future..will I always be alone, who'd want me, how long can I stay like this, if I fall apart who will be there for me?....Do others have any tricks they use to stop themselves? By evening this will have passed and I will be feeling better, that's how it usually works. Today though I feel lonely, miss my family and, yes, my old life! I used to feel secure, my life was kind of mapped out for me and now it's not, I don't know what lies ahead. I was always so confident in my M, I was 100% sure we were forever...oops! Sometimes I wish I could just sit down and have a damn good cry when I feel like this but I don't know how to do that!!!! So what do others do to get out of this funk when it hits? Italy being eliminated from the World cup kind of makes me happy...but it's just not enough for some reason!
