My advice on cooking and such is to do it for you and the kids, but leave the H out of it... That way you are detaching, but he can also see what the better world looks like, and smells like...
If you make a nice dinner and clean all their laundry fresh for them and he's left out.. he's going to be thrown off the throne again... which is the objective here..
And even sending the letter as I wrote it isn't a bad thing, its just a 180... you want him to be thrown off center...
He's gotten way to comfortable and that's why he's pushing the boundaries into unhealthy places.. he's TOO COMFORTABLE...
You want to be fair, but put him in his place at the same time.. NOT inviting himt o things and with the FT telling him outright he's NOT WELCOME to come along will frustrate him in a good way most likely...
