I had about 6 hours with one of your DB coaches last year, and it was very helpful to me, personally. In previous years, we've also been to various therapists, including sex therapists. I don't think she wants intimacy on any terms, and it's been a long time. I don't pressure her any more, and we have good times together, even romantic evenings, but never even the slightest hint of interest in anything erotic or sexual. It's a tough one.
Just as one of many examples, I've been given the advice to not pressure her. The theory is, once the pressure is off, she might indicate when she might be interested. And so I stopped all pressure, or even hints. Instead, she was just happy to "permanently" not have to deal with sex at all. Out of sight, out of mind, no exceptions. With all the other things she wants to do, she even seemed glad that maybe I had less need for that time-consuming activity that does nothing for her personally.
Not thinking of leaving at this particular point. The great irony is that we have a quite good marriage in many other ways. But I'm curious to know if my ultimate sexual expectations of a woman are even realistic, totally aside from my wife.
