She may want to initate "sex" again. According to her it is sex not making love. I am not concerned anymore what she calls it. At this point should If things get "hot and heavy" , Should I and let the hormones and urge build in her or should I just "have sex" as it somehow appears to be something she needs to bond our relationship.
"Considering our situation, I don't think it's in my best interest. Plus, I don't want to give you the wrong idea."
then go take a cold shower
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Gotcha, This isn't going to fair well with her. If it happens. She persue and will try make me feel guilty about it.
Plus, I do not think my showers gets that cold.
Me 31 Wife 34 (Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6 Married 3/3/01 Separated 6/4/10 Bomb 6/14/10 Served 6/22/10 EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10 Now Back Together 8/1/10
Gotcha, This isn't going to fair well with her. If it happens. She persue and will try make me feel guilty about it.
Plus, I do not think my showers gets that cold.
Inappropriate guilt. Reserve guilty feelings for the things you do which are WRONG. Not having sex with your W, who is divorcing you, is not WRONG. She might not like it - and? Tell her to put her Big Girl Panties BACK ON b/c you are not going to service her.
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
When she comes back and sees your new look, she is going to think you are doing it for some OW.....which could be a good thing! She's shown signs of jealousy and in my bood that's good. If she had no feelings for you then she could care less if you dated.
My suggestion is to stop "proclaiming" your faithfulness to her. She is in process of D you. That means she is not intitled to know your whereabouts, etc.
Be polite but not overly interested in her conversations. Everytime she sends a TM just smile and know she's still keeping you on the end of her rope.
What would happen if she really got a taste of D before it was final? What I'm saying is what would her response be if "you" dropped the rope? And, don't be afraid of making her angry.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Last night I was playing the Wii with the kids. W sent several text, which I seen but was going to wait to answer. Since I didn't immediately answer, she started calling. First my phone, then the house phone, over and over. I decided to pick up a few calls.
I asked if something was wrong. She said ,no but wanted to talk. I started to discuss her trip and if she was having a good time. She changed the subject about M. She said scared to leave but scared to accept me back. She was hurt all these years and wants us to be a family again, but does not know what to do. I explained to her, what happened in the past happened, it cannot be changed. You and must look to the future and take it one day at a time.I tried to change the subtly change the subject, but she kept going back to M. She kept telling me how I did "this and that". I agreed to it as those things are what I have done and that these things are what I am working on. I must work on myself in order for W to accept me back.
I told her that I do not want to rush this and time will let us know when we should get back together. She said she didn't want the D now but doesn't know what to do. I told her that since you served me, I will have to get a L and let your L and mine work these issues out. She its just a court date pushing this along and a L is not needed. I said that is not true. If I show up to court not represented, I cannot protect myself, your L is on your side and will do everything to make this benefit you. She started crying and stated she does not know if she made the right choice in filing D. I said it was her choice what you do I cannot change it, but I will proceed in getting a L and going to court. She started crying more on how she wants this to work out. By this time, my youngest came out wanting to know what is taking so long and wants to play. I told W that it is Ok and what happens happens, I am willing to move forward one way or the other. Have a goodnight and have fun tomorrow at the horse event.
Me 31 Wife 34 (Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6 Married 3/3/01 Separated 6/4/10 Bomb 6/14/10 Served 6/22/10 EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10 Now Back Together 8/1/10
You handled it well. Didn't rescue, which is what most people do.
You may want to suggest to her putting her D action on a "stay." That's what my wife and I did (and later got an extension to it); the original stay was 3 months. It was good for us to "keep the gun to our head," so to speak, and yet gave us SOME breathing room, and a legal symbol, to show our intention to each other to try to work things out.
Thanks Puppy, I will bring that up a day or two or more after she gets back from her trip. As of now, I'll let her think I am serious on moving forward with the D. In the meantime, I'll keep up with my GAL and 180's. That will keep her thinking and hopefully wanting.
I am starting to feel better again. Not b/c she wants to reconcile, but because of my 180 and GAL. I am having more fun with my kids now than ever.
Me 31 Wife 34 (Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6 Married 3/3/01 Separated 6/4/10 Bomb 6/14/10 Served 6/22/10 EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10 Now Back Together 8/1/10
