I'm sure you're right, Allen. My problem is, I know there are ways in which I DID owe him a better marriage. I was a depressed wife for several years, not even keeping the house clean or making myself attractive. Having said that, I do not believe going outside the marriage is justified - don't care how depressed I was. Don't care if EA or PA - both are wrong. Knowing this makes me unsure of how/when to respond. I AM feeling confident in myself and yet, you are right - he's no big hero either and doesn't deserve all the cards.
