so I can look them in the eye later and tell them I did EVERYTHING humanly possible to fix WAW and I's sitch.
the guys on here who say that take your approach and it doesn't work. your wife/gf wants you to stand up to her, she wants you to fight for her. playing the martyr and patiently waiting in exile isn't attractive.
as soon as you get over your addiction to the drama, knowing how she feels and trying to create love the sooner you can really do "whatever it takes."
Even a young girl sees right thru this and is turned off by pursuing.
Quote:
So I asked them if they wanted to go for a walk around the block. Sara said " I'll pass " and left the room,
You deflect it by saying she is moody. This female sees a male role model in her life coming over to see her while she is living with another man (who took your place) and you offer up "do you want to go for a walk?" looks weak, pathetic, submissive (you on his turf asking for favors)and conniving. you want to be confident, secure, cool, calm and in control. I am really trying to help you see what you look like, do you get it? What you think women want is dysfunctional.
I think you are doing the right things about your home, your job situation and staying busy. What you need work on is your interactions with your family. We know how hard it is to wrap your head around some of the concepts. I won't share things with you that are unproductive in helping your reconcile.
What exactly are the terms of your custody agreement?
Can you be considered a common law marriage?
Don't go over to where your wife and kids are staying. You meet them at your place or somewhere neutral to be picked up.
DON'T send the letter!
Will you really do whatever it takes?
Coach, I tried to send you a PM to see if there was a way to reach you by email or phone or something, I REALLY want to use your advice, but trying to communicate through the forum is tough. For some reason the PM feature is disabled on my end.Is there ANY way you can reach me privately ??
As for common law marriage? No our State doesnt not recognize it.
Custody for the summer is every other week, one with me , one with WAW. Once school starts its open visitation, AWAY from WAW as much as I want plus every other weekend.
Coach, this is the part that I cant get my head around and need MUCH deeper understanding of. How in the world can the WAW want me to stand up to her, when everytime I do she gets even more pissed ? How can she want me to fight for her when she just screamed at me the other day to MOVE ON !
I DO want to do whatever it takes, but as I wrote the other day, everything I've been doing (following DB), 180's etc has just been making things WORSE.
How exactly do I fight for her in a way she recognizes when she's SO angry, hurt, frustrated , etc and doesnt want to be anywhere near me ? Direct quote from her " Just being in the same room with you enrages me "
