Puppy, Coach...advice..anyone...Need a quick answe

[Greek]

Won't detaching and going dark push them farther away? I dont feel close to him at all...right now.

Further away than what? Another woman? He's already there. Accept this.

Detach. Like he is gone.

Get on with your life. B/c you have to. B/c waiting for him or any other man to solve YOUR problems is WRONG and UNHEALTHY.

Do a search of Kalni's thread. Do a search of Mindfull's thread. Read and learn.

Greek

[ninelives]

Please listen to Greek. There really is no other option in your sitch. Your mantra should be Other women means no marriage.

[swimmingupstream]

I am not going to post anything about the current state of this mess but I am going to post this for myself and if my husband chooses to read this.
What about the hurt I am going through? What about the pain I have felt for the past year? Does that mean anything?
No contact means no contact so not even a text message or anything should be done if he cares about his family at all.
I know he is a good person deep down inside...and I know an affair is an addiction..but the pain that we have felt as a family and me, as an individual is huge. Our daughter has felt the effects of this and she is 5!!! I dont care HOW OW is feeling..he has only known her for a short time..what about how d is feeling..she is a poor innocent child! I am a wife who has done nothing but love and support my h in the best way I have known how and the fact that that means so little really breaks my heart. What about my sleepless nights, my anxiety, what about having to deal with my daughter hearing that it is I made her daddy leave? What about that...SO here are some facts that I would like to post:

The chance of a successful relationship born of infidelity is not even one in 100. A marriage that starts in infidelity has no foundation. You go into it with guilt, shame, angst, worry, and all the baggage that comes with that. Add to that managing your ex and going through possible custody battles for children. Is it worth it?

If you have children and you are cheating on your spouse, your children will suffer. You are turning their lives upside down, fracturing their family unit and destroying their peace and harmony.

Think ahead to what the courts might think of you as a parent. You may think your partner wouldn't fight you on custody, but people change when they get into a divorce court. Your spouse might just decide that the person who stole his/her partner will not steal the children as well. If you enter the divorce arena in the midst of infidelity, you have put your children in play. Again, ask yourself, is it worth it?

Keep in mind, you can no longer be in contact with the person you were having an affair with. Avoid the places you know he/she frequents, change your phone numbers, and if you're unsure of your strength in staying away from him/her, then move. If you're so out of control that you're like a moth to a flame, then get away from the candle!

[swimmingupstream]

and last but not least...I am pretty much at the end of my rope at this point. Really. I love him but enough is enough. He really IS my best friend..we really ARE soul mates...and he knows it...we DID have a great love..but he let another woman come between us. He chose the OW over his OWN family. THIS is the last straw for me..if contact continues in any way...I HAVE to move on...this time there will be no I will take you back..this time there will be no I love you and we are best friends..that is it..I love him with all of my heart but I will not be disrespected regardless of the reasons he has been TOLD he is there. He made these decisions and I pray every single night that he makes the decision to stop cheating and take care of the 3 people that love him most in this world!!!!