Thanks for caring everyone. I've been kinda a wreck lately... Not really falling apart but dwelling.

And I'm still really angry. I can honestly say I hate her right now. I'm sure that will pass, but for now it is what it is.

Thinking back on Saturday, I have to say she really does just seem done with me. She had 0 emotion and had no problem just saying she had no desire to even bother with me, other guy(s) are more important, I havent changed at all and we have nothing in common... And then she just walked away.

She also found out through the grapevine that I was dating someone, and has used that to justify her actions. She told me that when her "boyfriend" asked her if she thought what they were doing was wrong, she said no, cause I was seeing someone too. Problem is, when he asked that, and she told him that I was not seeing anyone, and was actually very far off from even bothering to try. Were talking months ago here.

I said nothing, but she just assumes I had this months long relationship with someone.

Lets see...

I foolhardily dated someone I just met for 2 weeks about a month ago, but broke it off because we both knew it was wrong. I felt terrible about it, but admitted that it was a weak time for me.. It is what it is.

She had a several month long affair with a friend of mine.

I don't see how they compare, but, I guess, whatever she needs to tell herself to justify it is what shes going to do. I have considered emailing her to tell her the truth about my "seeing someone"... But I don't think it even matters anymore. She is going to think what she thinks and she is going to do what shes going to do.


I know you guys say to go dark, and I agree that is what I need to do now because I need to heal, and staying in contact with her at all is not going to allow that, but I have to say at this point I would be VERY surprised to even hear from her at all again.


I'm drinking too much. I've stopped working out. I need to get my sh!t together here quick.

I started reading a good book on abandonment... Cant remember the name right now, but its helping, and I'm still kicking the idea of IC around.

All in all... I think I'm just grieving normally after bomb #2 was dropped last week...