And,I will try to touch her just once. Simple. Just human touch.
I'm just one voice....but I say "no touching" until she is begging!
All this other stuff she's been doing...like showing you places on her body? That is nothing more than seeing if she can work "you" at her little female whim! I grant you this....if you started touching her, she would have turned to ice!
This is true. I have touched my wife, as a habit, a few times. She will pull away and she will turn to ice. Sandi is right on. Its hard, but wait till she is begging.
Me 31 Wife 34 (Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6 Married 3/3/01 Separated 6/4/10 Bomb 6/14/10 Served 6/22/10 EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10 Now Back Together 8/1/10
have to tell you Sandi that she is not showing me; she is offering me to touch.
This is the perfect opportunity to act as if you do not see her as a sexy female. She is testing you here, okay? So, have an attitude of "Thanks, but I'll pass". Yes you can look at what she showed, but treat her as if you would your cousin. If she knows you are squirming....then she is pleased with herself, but if she sees she has no affect on you, then she begins to wonder what she needs to do to change things.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Thankns, Puppy. I hope my last post is the direction you'd like to see more of. I'd also like Sandi's perspective as well.
I had a thought this morning, though.
What would I need to do differently if there is no affair. The longer this goes the less likely it appears that there is one. Again, I'll get some intel on where she is going but something doesn't seem to fit.
Perhaps this really is just a growing friendshipo with this girlfriend and the guy at work is a coincidence. There is a huge piece missing. The reason I ask is that, if it turns out there isn't one, will my dropping the rope completely adversely affect her ability to come out of this cleanly.
I know it's imperative in a PA, but if it isn't will my actions do more damage than good?
What would I need to do differently if there is no affair. The longer this goes the less likely it appears that there is one. Again, I'll get some intel on where she is going but something doesn't seem to fit.
Perhaps this really is just a growing friendshipo with this girlfriend and the guy at work is a coincidence. There is a huge piece missing. The reason I ask is that, if it turns out there isn't one, will my dropping the rope completely adversely affect her ability to come out of this cleanly.
Even if there is not an affair, she is moving in directions distant from the marriage (you). An affair would just be another symptom of her dissatisfaction with the M. Either way, it is important for you to understand what she is looking for that she doesn't have in the M.
Try to piece it together by really reflecting on what she has told you. What are her consistent complaints? What about you has she criticized? What have y'all fought about? What do her 'new ways' indicate she is looking for now?
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
Emotional connection and affection/sex. Mostly the former but this manifests itself as the net result of "no sex". keep in mind she has lost 80 lbs since childbirth in the last two years. And it ha=s been most noticeable since Jan/Feb.
Callasdad. Please dont let your gard down im begging you.
I know from my stich that when wife made fun of me one time on the phone she was with the O/M.
With your wife calling you a "Douche" some thing is not sitting right in my stomach.
The flirting was their in my stich when i did ask her if she was having an A.
The sex lotions and you two not sleeping in the same bed for a year is bad.
For a woman to not share their bed with their huband for that long of a time. I think they think that life is to short and they look for someone to be their. My wife started sleeping with the baby she told me that it was easyer for her to take care of him that way.
I thought nothing of it, Man was i wrong!
I had those days when i thought that im crazy their is nothing going on, its all in my head and by the way she acted towards me after i asked her if she was having an A.
She was having me give her back rubs and rubbing her feet Etc
You threw out the A in that text and she has changed. More touching being nice.
I wont give you any more addvice Butt please watch your self thats all i ask....
Me 37 Waw 32 son2 bomb 8/11/09 O/M 12/25/09 Divorce filed 8/25/09 divorce finale 6/16/10 Divorce putt on hold 6/16/10 Divorce postponed STBXW idea 8/8/10
