I think exposure backfired?

[AntoniaB]

All interesting replies, thanks everyone. No the OW is not married. She was in a long-term rel. with her live-in bf and she dumped him, moved out, then my H confessed to the rel. with her and moved out on me. He insists it wasn't a pact but I beg to differ.

Well he has now calmed down and is back to talking to me or contacting me over house stuff in a more rational tone. He has told me that next week, the OW is going away by herself for the week, which "impresses him" because that is "so independent" and of course he keeps saying I'm not independent and that's why he can't be with me. (Nevermind that HE has never gone anywhere overnight alone, and I don't get why he feels he has to make a case to me about why she is so "great" for him, but whatever). Now how do I handle next week? My instinct says to allow him to be in contact as she isn't around all week, but instincts never seem to be right with DBing. So should I completely ignore him next week when all he has is the ability to speak to her on the phone or text? Not answer his emails or texts? Make him feel alone? I feel like right now he is filling his "romantic" needs with her and yet still trying to fill his "house and home" feelings with me, and he can't have it both ways.

PS. that piece by Penny is terrific, thanks.