(I asked him not to come home on latest d day)... I just feel weird though. Like I'm very disconnected from him. Like when we hugged it was missing something. Is this "disconnected"? Or is this "M over"?
Amg,
You keep saying that you didn't throw your H out, but you did ask him not to come home. Isn't that the same thing?
While it probably is better for you, it has definately helped you become detatched, please don't get stuck in the victim role here.
Yes, to a degree you are a victim, all LBS are victims, but to allow yourself to act like a victim, is to not accept any responsibility in any of this. Unfortunately, we all have our own roles to play in the demise of our M's, regardless of MLC.
Originally Posted By: amg2
He seems (of course I have no way of knowing what he thinks)to think I'm holding down the fort at home. As if it's not possible that I'd ever get fed up enough to be done.
And here is the victim coming out, even if you don't realize it.
Yes he expects you to "hold down the fort". You are the one living at home.
Whether he thinks you will never reach your done point or not, who knows?
It doesn't really matter.
As long as you don't reach it out of anger and frustration, if you reach it, you do, if you don't, you don't.
What you feel right now, is a normal part of the process. As we remove ourselves from the drama, we begin to feel a peace of NOT having that in our lives. It doesn't necessarily mean that your M is over, just that you are not wrapped up in all of the day to day crap anymore and it is sort of a good feeling. Only you know if it means your M is over or not.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
